Failures are the ladder to success | Shounak from XLRI on Dealing with Rejection

“When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.” Circumstances like rejection and failure have been frowned upon by our societies since time immemorial. Be it a failure in a test, or rejection in a job interview – the social stigma associated with it has pushed many people to the brink of depression, insanity and even suicide. After having been through numerous failures in my life, I have learnt that with the support of a conducive environment, such circumstances inspire the affected ones to bring the best out of themselves and the situation, in short, the art of dealing with rejection.

When it all started

Failure has been my constant companion throughout my journey so far. It all started in class 11. After the unfortunate demise of my father, my family was emotionally and mentally shattered and I was no exception. With a demotivated mind haunted by his memories, I sat for my class 11 mid-term examination. Needless to say, my grades were the lowest in my entire academic tenure so far, and that was no less than a failure to me.

I cannot emphasize more on the role that a family plays in such circumstances. Even though they were burdened with their own grief, my mother and my sister never stopped motivating me to achieve greatness and move forth. The moments were painful – I was disoriented and had no clue where my career would be heading.

A couple of months passed and time started healing my mind. I looked at my sister, who was 8 years younger to me. I needed to be there for her – as a role model, a guardian, an inspiration. And I realized that I didn’t have any choice, other than to shift my focus towards studies. I tried to compartmentalize the thoughts in my mind so that they wouldn’t overlap and affect each other. When I sat to study, I ensured that I would keep away the thoughts that haunted me.

The second set-back

Of course, it wasn’t easy – it required a lot of focus and effort. But every time I looked at myself in the mirror, I saw my mother and sister as well. They had high expectations from me, and I couldn’t let them down. Days passed by, and through extra effort, I reconciled myself with studies. Keeping the dark thoughts away certainly took a lot of training in those two years, but in the end it was all worth it. I secured decent scores in my class 12 boards and earned a position in the all-India CBSE top 1 percentile bracket.

However, life is never a bed of roses. Even small and sudden moments of grief and sorrow have deeper impacts than prolonged moments of joy.

My immediate next failure was concerned with the exam of IITJEE, back in 2012. Despite my rigorous hard work, I couldn’t even attain the cut-off score for earning a rank, and that made me have serious doubts on my abilities. However, my experiences had taught me to stay focused and keep going, no matter what. I followed my instincts and realized that there is no alternative to hard work – you’ll eventually earn what you truly deserve. After some consultation with various parties, I took mechanical engineering in a State Government college.

Fast-forwarding to 2016, I had a few months in my hand before my joining in TCS Engineering and Industrial Services, after graduation. I decided to try my luck with management entrance examinations and started preparing for CAT. I had always preferred self-study over anything else, and that fetched me a percentile of 97.5 in CAT 2016. However, my score in one of the sections was below the cut-off for most IIMs and hence, I received a call only from IIM Shillong.

The Art of Dealing with Rejection

Given the circumstances, I was slightly demotivated. My fears popped up again, of dealing with rejection all over again. However, that mellowed down when I received calls from XLRI for BM and HRM, with my borderline percentile in XAT 2017.

I started preparing for the interviews but was fairly inexperienced with those. I must admit that I was unable to comprehend the gravity of those and displayed a lackadaisical attitude in my preparation. As a result, my interviews went far below par and that was when I got a taste of the competition – how severe it was going to be from then onwards.

I had plans to retake management entrance exams but decided to join TCS first, deciding to have some corporate experience before retaking the exam and so, skipped CAT 2017. All the prior experiences of failure had taught me to not rush – now that I had considerable experience with management exams as well as with interviews, I knew how I would have to improve, what areas I would have to work on – to crack a B School. But timing mattered the most.

By 2018, I had some experience working in TCS and decided it was now or never. Balancing my work, I focused all my efforts onto CAT 2018 and XAT 2019. Throughout the two years after CAT 2016, I had been associated with competitive studies of one kind or the other. So, returning to the management entrance exam didn’t pose a challenge. I developed a thorough strategy to tackle my shortcomings which I had assessed after the last attempt, and it bore fruit. I cracked both exams and received calls from prestigious B-Schools.

Learning to get back up

For my interview preparation, I left no stone unturned. My laid back attitude in the previous attempt had taken me by shock during the interviews. So, I worked extra hard to ensure it doesn’t happen the next time. Fortunately, my efforts bore fruit and I cracked some of the calls I received, XLRI being the best of them.

But that’s not all, of course. Challenges confront us in every step we take. After joining XLRI, the competition was a lot more intense. At that point of time, my past experiences had taught me to rejoice and embrace challenges, along with the hows of dealing with rejection. There was a vast multitude of students who appeared to be better than me. But I reiterate – there is no substitute to hard work. Even if it doesn’t deliver results immediately, it develops a sense of culture and discipline within yourself. This stays forever – something people would appreciate even ten or twenty years down the line.

Every failure is a lesson

I faced rejection in quite a few interviews after joining XLRI. In some, I was confident. In others, I panicked. But each of them proved to be a learning experience, which made me more wholesome than I was ever before. It enabled me to perceive the world with a more holistic approach.

In the end, acceptance and rejection are just two sides of the coin that we call our destination, we have to learn the art of dealing with them both. To support this statement, there is a famous saying – The journey is more important than the destination. The lessons you’ve learnt, the experiences you’ve had from your rejections, will be the ones that shape you henceforth. Failure in getting something you truly want will be the best teacher you’ll ever get. So, instead of getting demotivated and hopeless, ensure that you keep a strong mind and learn from every mistake. Remember, after every fall, you will get back up – stronger than ever before.

This article was submitted as an entry to Become an Author 2.0 with Dare2Compete.