Speaking skills - phrases to avoid if you want to hold a room!

D2C Admin

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Speaking skills - phrases to avoid if you want to hold a room!

0 min read

Speaking and actively listening, are both important skills. As a student, there are a number of times when you find yourselves in a place where the former becomes a crucial skill. As you move forward and grow in the education world, as well as a part of the economy, the need to be heard becomes more and more important. The ability to present ideas in a way that makes them desirable is an essential one.

But while it is important to know WHAT to say to keep your audience engaged, you should also know WHAT NOT to say when you are delivering to an audience. If you are familiar with Big Think, Talks at Google, Ignite, etc., you would know that the speakers at these events are engaging, compelling and above all, captivate the audience. Not only do they speak in a way that makes you want to listen, the good speakers never lose the connection with the listener or begin to sound ‘boring’.

So how can you do it? How can you avoid people leaving the room when you are out there speaking, or pitching your idea? Or even in an interview or a simple viva where the interview panel/examiner is having trouble keeping up with what you are saying?

Here are some phrases you should steer clear of

‘That’s just my two cents’

Sometimes in interviews or group discussions, you are faced with an opinionated question. It could be about a recent occurrence or political unrest in the world. Here, you don’t have to simply answer the question, you have to give an opinion. If you present that opinion and then go ahead and say ‘yeah, but that’s just my two cents’, you are not only minimizing the value of your own opinion but also indicating that other people who put forth theirs, have the same value in your mind. While engaging in a conversation or a discussion, it is of utmost importance to ensure that you respect your counterpart and convey the same in your tone and choice of words.

‘I hope I can….’

You have told your audience here that you are surrendering control. It indicates that you are doubting your ability to do what you are going to say. Replace it with ‘I will’ or ‘I can’. Your choice of words decides whether your audience believe in you or not!

‘I’ll keep it short’

Eh, you probably won’t. But even if you plan to, don’t mention it beforehand. ‘Short’ is subjective, and the listener might just think you will be done in the next two minutes. And in the case where you are definitely not going to keep it short, you just delivered a false promise. So avoid that phrase.

‘Basically’

The word ‘basically’ has a certain function in speech, and more often than not it becomes a habit to use it too much. ‘Basically’ is supposed to give only the gist of a statement. If you use ‘basically’ to simply make your point stronger, you are actually having the opposite effect. The actual function of the word is to assert confidence, not strengthen your point.

‘The kind of stuff…’

When you want to demonstrate a category of things, ‘stuff’ and ‘things’ are not the correct words to be used. Not only are you generalizing a statement (especially in a formal conversation), but are also losing the flow of thought. For example, if you are talking about why you want to work with a certain institution, instead of saying, ‘The kind of things that your institute has to offer….’, say, ‘The kind of courses and facilities that your institute has to offer….’.

‘To be honest…’

Well, were you being dishonest so far? This cliche might sound harmless but again, it discredits what you have said so far. Whether you intend to or not, it will cause listeners to wonder exactly how truthful you have been so far?

‘New normal’

Almost everyone is guilty of using this phrase in recent times. The ‘new normal’ might fit in when you are talking about a restructured business, institute, work hierarchy, or educational course. But talking about the ‘new normal’ when nothing significant has changed, is simply surrendering to small changes that do not suit you.

‘It is what it is’

The absolute worst time to use this is when someone is challenging an age-old tradition, rule, or practice. Other than that too, this phrase is far too old and meaningless in today’s world. We have learnt in the past two decades that everything is subject to change and nothing has to keep being what it is. It invalidates the opinion of the people looking for a change, makes you sound like you are not open to it.

‘It is not fair’

Neither are 5467 other things. When you are talking about something unfair, state it that way, instead of using the phrase ‘It’s not fair!’ say ‘Yes, that is unfair, but here’s how we can deal with it now that it’s done…’. There are a lot of moments in life when you will have that feeling, but when you are voicing it, you have to sound in control of that situation. 'It's not fair' only gives an image of Calvin voicing his frustration to Hobbes!

‘I’m just saying…’

After giving a groundbreaking speech or presenting a wonderfully-worded paper, you don’t want to reduce it to ‘just words’. It will make the listener feel that all you have just said were empty words and the meaning and emotion behind it is lost. Especially while speaking about a sensitive issue, you have to navigate your skills in a way that never makes the listener feel that you are only interested in filling the silence with 'words'!

‘I’m entitled to my opinion’

Yes, but there is always a scope for improvement. Stating that you are entitled to your opinion indicates that you are defensive of it. It also means that you are leaving no room for change in your opinion. Especially in conversations about social issues such as discrimination, and mental health, even if you mean well and are on the right side, you are fuelling the other side’s argument.

Most of these tips are important for both public speaking and formal conversations. Even in interviews, you have to be careful about how you present your opinions and state your answers. There are many institutes that evaluate your cognitive skills by way of group discussions, where you barely have time to give a lot of thought to what you are about to say. In these situations, your speaking skills become the prime factor in judging how prepared you are to voice your opinions and concerns.

The best way to enhance your speaking skills would be to inculcate them into your daily speech. Begin with discussions amongst family and peers, and slowly build your speech.

Lastly, don’t get discouraged if you are unable to hold a room your first time. It takes practice and it will be a while before you get the hang of it. So give it practice, and keep going!

Want to know how you can acquire more personality-building skills? Check these out!