Understanding emotional intelligence can help you get closer to your goals

The term emotional intelligence first saw the light of the day when psychologists John D. Mayer and Peter Salovey first used it in 1990. coined the term ‘emotional intelligence’ in 1990. However, it gained traction only in 1995 when it was used by Daniel Goleman. 

While emotional intelligence did not gain popularity right after its introduction, it is now an important part of the study of the human mind. Decades of research into the subject has shown that greater emotional intelligence equates to better performance and better relationships, both professionally and personally.

However, there is a deep-set underlying issue with EQ in today’s world - everyone believes that they have high emotional intelligence. Most people believe that because they manage their emotions well, and are able to deal with people who experience extreme emotions (friends, family, colleagues, etc.), it gives them an upper hand in the EQ curve. This is not entirely true. Read on to get clarity on the matter and make necessary amends. You have worked so hard to establish your brand, refining it is the natural next progression. 

What is emotional intelligence?

Daniel Goleman has divided emotional intelligence into 4 domains

1. Self-awareness,
2. Self-management,
3. Social awareness, and
4. Relationship management

These 4 domains are further classified into 12 categories. Before we begin to work on these areas, it is important to understand what each one entails.

Self-awareness

Self-awareness is exactly what its name says - being self-evident, knowing what you feel, and why you feel that way. The knowledge of these feelings will help you decide whether they help, or hinder you. Self-awareness means that you are aware of your strengths and weaknesses. It also means knowing when to ask for help.

Self-management

While self-awareness means to be aware of what you feel, self-management is being able to control your behaviour in accordance with those feelings. It pertains to managing your emotions in a better way. Managing oneself means that a person is able to adapt to changing circumstances. If a person is even capable of acknowledging their negative emotions, they can go a long way in preventing them from losing control.

Social awareness

The people you know and interact with are essentially a Venn diagram with overlapping social circles. So in order to be socially aware, one must learn to be empathetic. A very important part of it is to develop the art of listening to others.

To be able to put yourself in another person’s place, and understand where their opinions and actions come from is an important aspect of social awareness.

Relationship Management

As social animals, humans not only move in a number of social settings but also have relationships with each other. These relationships can vary from personal to professional to just passing acquaintances.

To be able to effectively manage your relationships with other people, you have to first understand the nature of the relationship you have with them. Respect the other person’s boundaries, but don’t hesitate from motivating them when you feel they need it. When a conflict arises, it is important to deal with it with patience and a clear head.

How can you strengthen your EQ?

The four domains of emotional intelligence are connected to each other, but that does not mean that weak relationship management will always be accompanied by a lack of social awareness. In other words, these abilities are not always dependent on one another.

To strengthen your emotional intelligence, you must first be able to identify where you lack, and where your strength lies. Knowing your weaknesses is the first step towards building a better emotional intelligence.

Although, as pointed out earlier, these domains might not always be interdependent, it is also true that improving upon one of the 12 aspects, will definitely contribute to an increase in other areas. Some ways that can assist you in honing your emotional intelligence are:

• Assertive communication can be very useful to put forth opinions without coming across as too aggressive, or just uninterested.

• During a conflict, instead of reacting, collect your thoughts, and respond calmly. Emotionally intelligent people tend to avoid outbursts and anger, even during heated arguments.

• Listen actively - before responding to anyone, make sure you understand what is being said. Have clarity and pay attention to the other person. This will prevent misunderstanding, and allow you to respond in the correct manner.

• Respond well to criticism. Being able to take criticism in a positive manner will help you to understand how your actions affect others and constructively resolve these issues.

Finally, try and maintain a positive attitude. Emotional intelligence does not mean that you never have emotional outbursts, or never get angry, or simply never cry. Being emotionally intelligent means that you are aware of your mental state, and knowing how and when to deal with your emotions. It allows you to be empathetic to others, and kind to yourself. Emotional intelligence is not just for the benefit of the people around you, it also serves the purpose of keeping you grounded and avoid self-conflict.

In the world that we have stepped into, emotional intelligence will be the strongest arrow in your quiver. It will help you navigate seamlessly and reach your goals. Not to be taken lightly, emotional intelligence is just as important as refining your hard skills. During the Unstop (formerly Dare2Compete)Ignite 2020 sessions, recruiters stress upon the fact that being a cultural fit is extremely important. While hiring from renowned institutions, acumen is something that is tested and proved unequivocally. What remains to be challenged is the fact that whether the candidate will be able to work as a part of a well-oiled machine. 

Take notes, and get cracking! You are the author of your own destiny. 

Here are other similar pieces that can help you with polishing your skills!

• To webinar or not to webinar during lockdown!

• Post-COVID world: Change led by trends and intelligent deductions

• Improve your memory with these simple tips!

• Learn how to de-stress from Warren Buffet, Bill Gates and Mark Cuban